Saturday, December 9th, 2017
I sold marijuana to a man who showed me a license from Alabama when I asked for his I.D., and after I handed him his order, he just stood there and stared at the bag in his hands. The moment stretched on, seeming stranger by the second, so I asked if everything was okay. “No,” […]
Saturday, November 4th, 2017
I was a teenager the first time I saw a marijuana plant. It was a sickly thing, growing stunted and slightly brown in an Alaskan basement, but it was still wonderful. My friend had modified his chest-of-drawers. He’d taken the fronts off each drawer, and then he’d nailed them back onto the front of his […]
Saturday, October 28th, 2017
Every so often, after I’ve sold someone marijuana in our dispensary and handed over his or her order, he or she will look at me as if they’ve been left holding the bag (quite literally). He or she will hold their pot like it might bite, and then he or she will confess: “Um… this […]
Saturday, October 21st, 2017
People get pretty pretentious when it comes to fish eggs. Think about it: the only true “caviar” comes from the critically endangered beluga sturgeon—a monstrous fish that swam alongside dinosaurs—and it sells for $290 an ounce. It’s salty and black and usually enjoyed by people who wear suits and snobby expressions, like James Bond. I’ve […]
Saturday, September 16th, 2017
Mike Michon Cultivation Manager It came up casually in my conversation with Mike that he’s seen Phish in concert fifty-two times. He said it like it was no big deal, nothing out of the ordinary. But it is, and I stopped him halfway into a new subject so we could talk about it: Me: “Dear […]
Saturday, September 9th, 2017
“I ate way too many edibles this one time,” said every stoner, ever. For real. Everyone I know who enjoys the occasional edible has a similar horror story—one they look back on with an embarrassed shake of the head—because eating one milligram too many is an easy thing to do. So, as a stopgap, I’m […]
Saturday, September 2nd, 2017
Prescription drug commercials are the best. They’re always filmed in subdued slow-motion with an ethereal, gauzy quality, kind of like a soap opera. There’re always plenty of pretty people frolicking around with toothy smiles. And there’s always a calming, hypnotic voice in the background listing off the side effects that come from traditional pharmaceuticals. I […]
Saturday, August 26th, 2017
You can pick your platitude—oil and water, family and business, drinking and texting—because they all work: children and marijuana don’t mix. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience: I was one of those not-so-good children who started smoking way too early, and I have a precocious teen who smells a little suspicious from time to time. […]
Saturday, August 12th, 2017
Libby Lunda Retail Floor Manager Libby used to sit by a stream in Wisconsin to smoke with her friends. They’d buy quarter ounces for fifty bucks, and the stuff was just as horrid as you’d imagine: brown brick-weed that had just as many seeds and stems as it did flower. They’d load their bowls and […]
Saturday, August 5th, 2017
Darth Vader is cool only because he has theme music. Granted, the lightsaber helps a little bit, as does his freaky ability to choke fools from a distance, but if it wasn’t for the sonorous, tonal music that follows Vader wherever he goes, he’d be average at best. All the other aliens in that far, […]
