Saturday, February 3rd, 2018
I recently met a man in our dispensary who builds skyscrapers in Cincinnati. He started small, of course, building his business out of the back of his truck, but after a few decades of work, real work, he found freedom. He landed the type of life that allows him to fly to Durango on his […]
Saturday, January 20th, 2018
TJ Grau Budtender, Dispensary Mom About your Best Bud: You know that type of life everybody wants to live, but few people ever do because they’re too afraid? Well, TJ took that type of life by the hair and dragged it along behind her. Seriously, this woman has stories. From performing anal cavity checks as […]
Saturday, January 6th, 2018
Do you remember the Shake ‘n Bake commercials from the early nineties? If not, they were campy and ridiculous and awesome. A woman with a rabid smile would throw some raw chicken into a zip-lock bag full of Shake ‘N Bake and shake it maniacally, maintaining her insane smile throughout, and then she’d serve her […]
Saturday, December 16th, 2017
Chris “they call me Chitty” Chitwood Manufacturing Facility Manager About your Best Bud: Chitty is the coolest person to ever come out of Arkansas. Seriously. From the narwhal tattoo on his calf to the astronaut helmet he wore at our last company party, Chitty is as rad as they come. And he’s the only person […]
Saturday, November 25th, 2017
I have the same first name as my brother-in-law. I’ve known him for most of my life—we grew up together in a rather remote part of Alaska, friends long before we became family—and we’ve always shared that strange rivalry that lives between two people with the same first name. He calls me “#2,” in a […]
Saturday, October 28th, 2017
Every so often, after I’ve sold someone marijuana in our dispensary and handed over his or her order, he or she will look at me as if they’ve been left holding the bag (quite literally). He or she will hold their pot like it might bite, and then he or she will confess: “Um… this […]
Saturday, October 21st, 2017
People get pretty pretentious when it comes to fish eggs. Think about it: the only true “caviar” comes from the critically endangered beluga sturgeon—a monstrous fish that swam alongside dinosaurs—and it sells for $290 an ounce. It’s salty and black and usually enjoyed by people who wear suits and snobby expressions, like James Bond. I’ve […]
Saturday, October 7th, 2017
Just about everybody knows that “420” has something to do with pot, and just about everybody knows that “420 friendly” has something to do with businesses that support recreational marijuana use. But do you know where “420” comes from? As it turns out, some kids in California coined the term, but I didn’t know that […]
Saturday, September 2nd, 2017
Prescription drug commercials are the best. They’re always filmed in subdued slow-motion with an ethereal, gauzy quality, kind of like a soap opera. There’re always plenty of pretty people frolicking around with toothy smiles. And there’s always a calming, hypnotic voice in the background listing off the side effects that come from traditional pharmaceuticals. I […]
Saturday, August 5th, 2017
Darth Vader is cool only because he has theme music. Granted, the lightsaber helps a little bit, as does his freaky ability to choke fools from a distance, but if it wasn’t for the sonorous, tonal music that follows Vader wherever he goes, he’d be average at best. All the other aliens in that far, […]
