Saturday, August 5th, 2017
Darth Vader is cool only because he has theme music. Granted, the lightsaber helps a little bit, as does his freaky ability to choke fools from a distance, but if it wasn’t for the sonorous, tonal music that follows Vader wherever he goes, he’d be average at best. All the other aliens in that far, […]
Saturday, July 29th, 2017
There’s a large, sectional couch in our backroom. It’s black and upholstered with some sort of faux leather, and I love it. I come in an hour early twice a week to sit crisscross-applesauce right in the corner where the two sections meet; I put this laptop on my lap and I start clicking away […]
Saturday, July 22nd, 2017
There’re over four-thousand different strains of marijuana growing across the globe, sprouting like the wondrous weeds they are, but each of them falls into one of two categories: Indica or Sativa. Of course, most strains have been crossbred so many times that it’s difficult to tell which is which, and just about everything out there […]
Thursday, July 13th, 2017
Easter Island is a dark place. It’s an atoll sheltered by isolation deep within the Pacific Ocean, and it’s hard to hear the lessons that island screams because it’s too far away—leagues of surf and time have quieted the prescient warning. Think about it: when you first read the words “Easter Island,” you pictured one […]
Wednesday, July 12th, 2017
Melissa Nichols Vendor & Community Relations Manager Some Navy Seals can hold their breath for seven minutes; they go through all sorts of ninja training to get to that point. But at The Greenery, we have a budtender who can hold her breath for seventy-two seconds; she discovered her talent while playing dead-man games in […]
Saturday, July 8th, 2017
My mom used to throw uppity wine parties when I was a child. She’d sit around with her friends and they’d spend more time sniffing their wine than drinking it, swirling it around in their oversized tasting glasses while they wore on their faces the serious expression of a wannabe connoisseur. They’d stick out their […]
Saturday, July 1st, 2017
The Greenery is a recreational-only marijuana dispensary. However, we offer a twenty-percent discount to medical patients (so long as you can show us a valid Colorado MMJ card), and we do so for good reason: for many people, marijuana really is effective. Frankly, most people buy pot to get high, and there’s nothing wrong with […]
Saturday, June 24th, 2017
Some days, life’s stressors need a little numbing, and something strong is called for, like a kickass Sativa that’ll fill your lungs and banish the bullshit. And for occasions like that, The Greenery sells Chemmy Jones. This stuff is ridiculous. We don’t always have it on our shelves because the demand is so high, but […]
Saturday, June 17th, 2017
Sam Redman Inventory/Metrc (Marijuana Enforcement Tracking Reporting Compliance)/POS Manager Sam Redman is The Greenery’s very own Renaissance man. He’s an intellectual—one who can wear a denim jacket and pull it off—and he’s done all the things the rest of us just want to do: he camped in the backwoods of France for five months on […]
Saturday, June 10th, 2017
There’s no such thing as a comfortable conversation about suppositories. Well, not usually, anyway, but you and I are going to have one right now; the buffering shield of anonymity protects us both from embarrassment. And for the record, I know you clicked the “yes, I’m twenty-one” tab to enter this site, so we’re going […]
