Saturday, June 10th, 2017
There’s no such thing as a comfortable conversation about suppositories. Well, not usually, anyway, but you and I are going to have one right now; the buffering shield of anonymity protects us both from embarrassment. And for the record, I know you clicked the “yes, I’m twenty-one” tab to enter this site, so we’re going to talk about this like grownups. Anyway, here we go…
The Greenery is now offering two new marijuana infused products, both of which are produced by Foria, specifically “Pleasure” and “Relief.” The first comes in a 5 milliliter spray bottle that delivers 2.5 milligrams per application—here comes the adult part: the suggested use is to spray one dose “directly onto the clitoris, inner and outer labia, and inside the vagina.” You’ll need to allow up to fifteen minutes for Pleasure to take effect, and this product isn’t approved for use with latex condoms, but other than that, there’s not much you need to know. Women who’ve used this product say that Pleasure enables better, multiple orgasms that’re easier to access, and that Pleasure may help with improved, natural lubrication. Of course, since this product delivers THC, it may also bring with it the classical effects associated with marijuana: deep-body relaxation, a sound night’s sleep, and for some, a slight high. And if you think about it, a product like this makes sense. Cannabis products have been known to increase blood flow, and that’s the main prerequisite for sexual pleasure. The Greenery is offering Pleasure for $25 before tax per bottle, and if you’d like more information, just go to www.foriapleasure.com.
See? We made it through that wonderfully. Neither one of us giggled, which proves that we’re mature enough to move on to the vaginal suppository.
Look, I know that last sentence ended with a jarring pair of words, but it is what it is, and this product might bring some real relief to women who need it, so it’s worth discussion. And Foria’s Relief is all over the internet, so much so that it has earned the somewhat misleading nickname of “weed tampon,” so it’s important that we dispel any of the misconceptions associated with this product before you walk in our door; Relief is in fact not a tampon. Also, these posts are pretty short, so after you’ve read what we have to say about it, we’d recommend going to Relief’s FAQ page here for further information.
In short, each package of Relief (which we’re selling for $25 before tax) includes two suppositories; each one contains 10 milligrams of THC and 60 milligrams of CBD. Women who’ve tried this product have reported “a significant decrease in the pain and discomfort often associated with menstruation,” per Foria’s testimonies. The THC may help via the nervous system by blocking pain signals and boosting pleasure, and the CBD may help with inflammation and cramps. Also, given the 10 milligrams of THC per dose, it’s possible that users might experience a high, but Foria has this product listed as “non-psychoactive,” so results may vary. The science makes sense, and the only other ingredient in each suppository is organic cocoa butter, so we at The Greenery think that Relief is a worthy addition to our menu, but it’s always prudent to consult your physician before trying a product such as Relief.
And that’s it; we’re done. I typed out five-hundred words that’d make me blush and break eye-contact in the real world, and you sat where you’re sitting and read about The Greenery’s newest products in privacy. However, I know that reading about a product and actually buying it are two completely different things; you might still harbor a touch of trepidation about coming into our store and ordering one of these products from a stranger with a straight face. So, I have a suggestion: use our convenient call-ahead service. Just give us a shout at (970) 403-3710 and tell us what you’d like to try. We’ll put some Pleasure in a white paper bag, or some Relief, if you’d prefer, and we’ll set aside your order discreetly—we’ll write your first name on the bag, and nothing more. Tell us your name when you come in, we’ll ring up your order without making a big deal out if it, and then you can go on your way comfortably.
Or, if this is how you roll, just come in, walk up to the register, and tell us what you want loud and proud. Ask us questions, if you have any after reading this, and we’ll answer them accurately and seriously. After all, we’re profesionals, and that’s how we’ll treat you, because that’s what you’ve come to expect from your best buds.